Don't take marriage too seriously, seriously don't

We take marriage very seriously. Like way too seriously. All of us see it like a cultural traditional way of binding two souls together that were just made for each other. Some of us might not admit we do but when it comes to working out with difficult partners, people go to extreme extents to just live with this person you absolutely loath. This post is not just for girls because we know ignorance and evil comes in all shape and sizes.

Lets remove all the concepts of marriage our parents, our movies, our friends build in our minds. See it from a third person alien view. Hmm I am the alien, why do humans get married? Okay, so maybe they need company, they need someone to correct them, guide them to right path, support emotionally. In a way, to just be in harmony with a roommate who you can have kids with. 

Now we decided it wasn't enough for two people to find harmony, we included a bunch of other people, money, food, education, job blah blah. It was like we converted a class test to an IIT level exam without any increased benefits.

So first of all, remove all these unwanted accessories of marriage, hopes dreams, celebrations karwachowth blah one day I will be married to this wonderful person, make an amazing family of beautiful kids and loving in-laws. Ctrl alt del right now. 

From the scratch, if you are married and having problems of any sort, anything that ruins your peace, try to sort it out as peacefully as possible. Sit, communicate. If they are bothering you for dowry, leave them right now. Someone who puts you over money, some person who would let his parents do this to you is not worth it. This goes for guys too, girls can be pretty vicious influence too, its just a personality not gender.

I know these kind of words "not worth it" sound bookish but trust me as a  person you are so unique you should celebrate yourself. Never ever think of ending your life for a minor thing called marriage. Its not your life, its just a part of your life like we eat, drink, make friend. Like body take just the good things that are nourishing for your body, soul and all the impurities you just flush. If people start acting like impurities creating poison in our thoughts, just flush them. 

 Don't be mean in pursuit of this. Ohh I am so damn important, don't over estimate yourself. Just be you. Marriage is to have fun but who says you can't have fun all by yourself. Sex is important but with tinder almost all have access to it. Sex might be less needed with age, who knows.  If you really want kids, there are adoption agencies all over. Ohh but how will i manage kids without partner. Is it easier with a partner who will not help you at all? Isn't it better to just fly solo? Think about it, you have a bullock cart, you are the bull. Yes, it will be damn easier if another bull came and took some load off. What if that bull rides the bullock cart along with bull parents. This goes for both sexes.

You are in troubled marriage. How do you get out of it? First of all, make it as short as possible. Just sign papers, tell them you want to be as quick as possible with the divorce. You can always earn money back, but time that you waste in fighting for the lost marriage time will never be useful. Life is so important, we can't waste it in courts, lawyers and above all people you really hate. 

If other party is not willing and they demand money, if it is in your power give them money and get rid of this. See, its not just the end of this case, you need more years to probably get rid of hate, anger, feelings of loneliness. To build a life again, you need time. Don't waste it going around with someone stubborn. When you fight a stubborn, you just lose time. 

I have never worked a day in my life. I hate the idea of job. And most of the people these days have jobs. So if you are like me and thinking, ohh what will I do  without money. You don't need a lot of money to survive in a small town, if you want to be in a city, you can always start with bpo jobs that are for all languages. Its better to take a leap into the unknown world than suffer in the known one.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. From my experience, it tests you changes you into a better peaceful person. If it is not doing that for you or you feel like there are more struggles than rewards, stop it. No one should have that kind of power where they can destroy your life without even feeling a thing. Sometimes even other person wouldn't know why you are suffering. You can't blame them. Everyone is raised different. If you have kids, even better, start a new life fast so your kids don't see fights, arguments or turn into bitter over protective entities. Save their childhood. If your in-laws are evil, stay away from them, save your life.

My cousin got married into a family. They demanded dowry all the time. Everyone thought it was normal. When demands increased, she stopped telling her family. Greed ruled their minds so much, all of them whole family consumed by greed tied her suffocated her and threw her in well and claimed it was a suicide. So just stay away from evil people. There is no amount of love or reconciliation that can appeal to a greedy evil soul. Be safe. A loved one gone is gone forever. Don't force your kids to stay in marriages if they don't want to. Love them like a true parent.

 A good happy marriage can turn into an unpleasant one too, we are all changing evolving constantly. Understand and move on when the time comes. Nothing is permanent. If we try to hold on to loving moments, they vanish too and rust off leaving just bitter memories to live by. 

Be free. Be strong. Be mature. Let go . Everyone is complete in themselves. Marriage is just a variable, either it exists or not.

Life exists and blossoms without any variables, its constant. Love yourself.

Thanks,

NAMASTE