Have you noticed how with the passing time, a married couple is defined by a nagging wife and an angry husband? How does it get to this point? We all start with a life like a happy bollywood song of love and teasing. As a child, I witnessed this couple, when my cousin got engaged to a girl, both of them couldn't stop flirting, he would play songs, she would be shy sometimes act hard to get. 6 years down the line I saw a different couple, she was more in control he was less in love. They were just raising kids and surviving family.
Hehe acc to my observations, it happens slowly, so slowly we barely notice us even doing it. It starts with simple tasks we do lovingly for each other. We care for each others' health moods food. Then over time, tasks become a part of routine, breakfast is analyzed more eaten less. Its not bad to improve quality of life but we forget who is contributing how to household, all we remember is what they forget to do. Why didn't you take trash out? Why do you have excuses all the time? Why can't you take care of yourself? Why didn't you clean up? But we barely notice when they do all these. Good is ignored, bad is highlighted. Good becomes normal necessary, bad becomes recklessness.
Insensitivity is contagious too. One person in anger pushes it, other egotistic person repeats it. If he is not listening, let him learn a lesson. She wouldn't care. Let her be. Ohh who will talk first sometimes leads to days of silence. Let her cry, let him be alone.
Hmm after a while, even when you are mad or angry, you would rather not say. Just curse in mind. If you say, it comes out in harshest ways. Sometimes a person may summon all the courage in the world and say nicely, it is received in a way that says this is your opinion and you know nothing. Hehe we get stuck in these vicious circles and then arise nagging and angry couples. He doesn't care and she can't take it any more. Even when you spend time together, there are no common favorite things. So more resentment creeps in.
So if I had to fight this, hmm first of all let us appreciate things people do for us and not take them for granted. All the little things we loved in beginning are still done by them, in fact they have mastered it now. When you feel angry or irritated, express it as soon as possible. Find a solution. When your partner tells you something believing you will understand why they are upset, don't diss it ever. They will not come back to you next time. If someone is frustrated, help them by cheering them up or encouraging, don't point at their past mistakes or your reminders that they were doing wrong.
A lot of effort goes in keeping this marriage ship floating, holes will pop up time to time. If we don't keep them in check, ship will sink to the bottoms of sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration and every damn reason sign board will point to this ridiculous person we married. Who in fact is the love of our life we chose to be with. Just treat your spouse how you would treat a new beautiful friend. Forget you have known them this long. People become independent over time but that doesn't mean we stop asking if they need us for something.
This is a journey, enjoy all little parts of it. Don't just look at destination and cry why you are not there yet. For childless couples too, don't just think ohh if I had a kid I would be happier. You have a beautiful life beautiful soul partner that co exists with you.
I got this from new series, downward dog. Why not bask in this warm predictable embrace of lifelong monogamy? There is no exhausting pretense of keeping things fresh here. No one wants you to go over to paris and propose so yeah isn't it just the best spot to be. So much understanding, observation goes in a relationship, don't throw it away for silly karan johar reasons.
This is the life journey, enjoy it.
Hehe acc to my observations, it happens slowly, so slowly we barely notice us even doing it. It starts with simple tasks we do lovingly for each other. We care for each others' health moods food. Then over time, tasks become a part of routine, breakfast is analyzed more eaten less. Its not bad to improve quality of life but we forget who is contributing how to household, all we remember is what they forget to do. Why didn't you take trash out? Why do you have excuses all the time? Why can't you take care of yourself? Why didn't you clean up? But we barely notice when they do all these. Good is ignored, bad is highlighted. Good becomes normal necessary, bad becomes recklessness.
Insensitivity is contagious too. One person in anger pushes it, other egotistic person repeats it. If he is not listening, let him learn a lesson. She wouldn't care. Let her be. Ohh who will talk first sometimes leads to days of silence. Let her cry, let him be alone.
Hmm after a while, even when you are mad or angry, you would rather not say. Just curse in mind. If you say, it comes out in harshest ways. Sometimes a person may summon all the courage in the world and say nicely, it is received in a way that says this is your opinion and you know nothing. Hehe we get stuck in these vicious circles and then arise nagging and angry couples. He doesn't care and she can't take it any more. Even when you spend time together, there are no common favorite things. So more resentment creeps in.
So if I had to fight this, hmm first of all let us appreciate things people do for us and not take them for granted. All the little things we loved in beginning are still done by them, in fact they have mastered it now. When you feel angry or irritated, express it as soon as possible. Find a solution. When your partner tells you something believing you will understand why they are upset, don't diss it ever. They will not come back to you next time. If someone is frustrated, help them by cheering them up or encouraging, don't point at their past mistakes or your reminders that they were doing wrong.
A lot of effort goes in keeping this marriage ship floating, holes will pop up time to time. If we don't keep them in check, ship will sink to the bottoms of sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration and every damn reason sign board will point to this ridiculous person we married. Who in fact is the love of our life we chose to be with. Just treat your spouse how you would treat a new beautiful friend. Forget you have known them this long. People become independent over time but that doesn't mean we stop asking if they need us for something.
This is a journey, enjoy all little parts of it. Don't just look at destination and cry why you are not there yet. For childless couples too, don't just think ohh if I had a kid I would be happier. You have a beautiful life beautiful soul partner that co exists with you.
I got this from new series, downward dog. Why not bask in this warm predictable embrace of lifelong monogamy? There is no exhausting pretense of keeping things fresh here. No one wants you to go over to paris and propose so yeah isn't it just the best spot to be. So much understanding, observation goes in a relationship, don't throw it away for silly karan johar reasons.
This is the life journey, enjoy it.
No comments:
Post a Comment