Managing in India : Visiting India Part 2

So you survived flight. If I could, I would always travel in business class. Hmm, money does buy peace and happiness. You are finally here, we booked a 5 star hotel and thank god we did. You are going to appreciate it sooo much. I can't even imagine landing straight in my hometown. Next 3 days I was a zombie, I slept in night but as soon as clock struck 10 in morning, my brain would shut off. I wanted to sleep but body wasn't tired. Its like your mind plays games. You wake up all energetic, after breakfast your eyes won't open but you are not sleepy. Weird jetlag syndromes.

Book at least a 5 star hotel. Then if you have an indian sim, you are lucky. We got t mobile roaming working for us. But it just doesn't end there, does it? I had really bad experiences with the weather and dust and cab drivers cancelling at last moment. Whenever wherever you go it takes time and too much effort. Uber Ola all are the same, even when you see no cabs on roads, there is surge pricing or no cabs available. Drivers who do show up sometimes stop or pick up other passengers on your account. So now you can't even book because someone else is riding your uber. Great.

I mean seriously, everyone is going to hate me for saying this but this country has no professionalism. One cab driver actually wanted me to get out so he could finish his 13 rides quota and then they tip themselves. I hate hate hate this, everytime we step out there is a problem. If you go to a supermarket, people want to cut you in line. If you want to cross road, cars don't stop. If you try a 4 star north indian restaurant, you end up getting food poisoning. Even 5 stars serve waffles like burnt roast wannabes. I am so sick of it. There is frustration inducing environment everywhere. Then there is traffic. When I tried mall on weekends, I could feel people breathing on my neck and they weren't trying to hit on me. Its just that there is no concept of space. Thank god, I am in chennai and there is no eve teasing or staring or rude comments.

You are shopping and there are personal assistants hovering over you. You are out of cash, your cards don't work, you forgot your pins, you don't see atms, even if you see you can't really ask a cab driver to wait for you. I am already sick and lying on bed and its just been 5 days. Your hair are frizzy and no shampoo conditioner in world is going to help you because of hard water. Your face is dropping, you are forgetting your smile. We are angry, frustrated, hungry, fighting with each other for silly uncontrollable reasons. Why would I want to go through all of this again ?

So I finally decided not to step out of my comfortable adobe for time being, my hotel room my swimming pool my gym and stay safe and close in almost no contact zone. If I want to visit friends, I ask hotel to book cabs and let them manage. Hmm, what a depressing day and I still have 3 more weeks to go. Worst is yet to come. 

India bound flight : Visiting India Part 1

I have lived in seattle for just 9 months now. Its too soon to say I am americanised. Its just that when you adopt a certain healthy food standard and fitness lifestyle, every other place is merely a reminder to run back to home.

As soon as I boarded the flight, I realized Indian trip had begun. The bored uninterested look on air hostess says it all. Flight is full and economy class sucks. Its like riding a state bus with AC and a functional washroom. There are no smiles, no courtesies no thank yous, just plain faces working for you. They act like they were kidnapped and underpaid. Its so depressing. I hate food in flights. 

All kinds of people are on plane, the snoring ones, the loud uncle auntys burping and saying hari om hari om and then there are those who are short and use recliners. I mean seriously, you are sleeping on your lap. Worst are the kids, screaming howling demanding monsters. If you ever have the urge of motherhood, try sitting in a plane for 15 hours. You do get sense of where you are off to. I don't hate India, I just hate the fact that we are so inconsiderately simple. We are so simple we don't know how not to make others uncomfortable how to give people space. Also, you are supposed to clean up after washroom and only throw where the space is. Close diaper tables, maintain hygiene. Air hostesses probably got tired of cleaning up our mess. 

If you get lucky and do catch some sleep, there are people using zandu balm in flights.There are people opening windows with sunlight bursting in. Some of them are coughing and letting all the viruses in air. Trust me, zombie invasion will start on a india bound flight.  Then there are some who resort to non deodrant armpits, hmmm I am just wondering how far we will take this simplicity and humility. Its sickening and nauseating and disturbing and disgusting and killing me. 

And then to end it all, as soon as flight stops everyone stands, its chaotic, go when the gates open, till then relax and sit on your seat. There is no need to queue up, stand when person in front of your seat leaves. Why do we have to make everything so hard? Finally, baggage claim, It would be so much easier if everyone just stood a little far from belt and picked their bag when it came. But no, we are going to hover bring trolleys in suffer and shout and make kids cry and show our street acquired snatching. Everything is so overwhelming. 

Drop this competition chaos struggle. When everything is comfortable around you, be at ease.  We can create hurdles, invent struggles, introduce chaos where it isn't even needed. Stop people stop.

Things Brides to Be Shouldn't Do To their Parents

I got married like three years ago and now my sister is getting married. Hmmm as the date gets closer, she gets crankier. Its like she is always fighting with mum dad or just gossiping about her would be. Who am i to complain, i did the same. We were raised to be not so loyal i guess. When i see her treating them like this, I feel even more guilty for what i did to my parents in my wedding. So I am just gonna write down what we all do unintentionally in our bridal mode. Hope it helps in understanding parents' and relatives' perspective on your wedding.

1) He is right , you daddy are wrong : Ohh this is a classic thing. I did it, I know we are all in love and we think there is no better couple. But trust me this is just a phase. Every couple is unique. Yes you both a are a team, but this time your parents need you. They want you in their team, not this guy's team. Your dad is already hating the fact how u r putting this guy over him. So no matter what happens, daddy is right unless of course he is trying to exercise honor killing. By the way 80% of guys would let their parents do whatever they want to do in wedding.

2) No work, just advice : Yeah my sister does this and its so ruthless. She is in a far off city doing her job and then she has opinions on every minute thing my dad does. Like for a wedding card design, she texts him like 1000 times to make changes but when she can go to shop and get it fixed in an hour, she won't go. Its like my dad has a new boss who does nothing but cry over stupid things no one notices. Trust me, i havent seen my wedding card in years, people read it for date and throw it away or use it to pick dog's poop. So dont be so melodramatic over not so important things.

3) Everyone join for shopping : Well, first of all decide what you want , u want a lehenga or a saree. You want it made or you want to rent it. Then go for shopping. Its tough for people living in different cities to just come over for your saree shopping which by the way you might keep in a suitcase and put that suitcase in a upstairs loft. So yeah don't give people crappy guilt, its ur day, shop with your own money. Decide your own jewellery. Better look in your city, go window shopping for months and then you will have an accurate idea of what you want. No one knows what you want more than yourself.

4) Do something my poor bf can't : This is what she does, ohh i don't want to do engagement, call up his parents and cancel. I don't want to get married like this, call them up and tell them. I don't want this wedding venue, call them up and inform. Well hello your would be love forever is right there, tell him first. If he can't fix it, no one else can. I mean unless your parents are like super rich and your in laws listen to them. Other than that, every guy's family has been planning this day forever so yeah don't bother your parents with whats going to happen. Let them go with flow. Dont fight too much, it takes away your innocence.

5) Why do you want to spend so much : Oh you don't have to give them car, you don't have to buy jewellery, you don't have to choose this wedding place, you don't have to buy gifts. Darling, you chose to get married to a guy whose parents specifically mentioned all this. Fine, we will change if the guy comes along and says. Other than that, if we have the money, we will do all this. Hopefully wedding ends asap so we can sleep comfortably after months of nothing.The thing is if your guy isn't raising a voice, no parent in his right mind would go and say i am poor i wouldnt do all this. Its their respect at stake. Dont take it out on your parents. They are not over doing it.

6) Dont call relatives : Yeah and be alone when 500 people from guy's side turn up and there's no one to welcome them at door. We need relatives for strength not for your amusement. So that department, that whole side is not for you to even speak of. Be with us, dont oppose everything we say. Its quite hurtful.

7) Dont  tell him everything :   Lastly, every thing that we talk about, every fight that we have. Please don't discuss it with your boyfriend. I hate it when my sister disrespects my father or makes fun of my mother and says its all cool. I used to do it but then i realised  husbands respects their parents way more than wives will ever respect their own. So for the sake of your mum dad give them the love and respect they deserve, Dont tell him what your dad says to mom or how you all fight on petty wedding things. Its a family secret. Yeah he is extended family for us.

All i can say is girls gotta understand their dads need them during wedding time. Help them with money, plans, wedding discussions. Dont shout at them. I know you are stressed too. But don't take it out on people who love you the most unconditionally. Husband's love is kinda conditional u will see.

Ohhh my husband loves me just in case u r concluding he doesn't. Its just that I know how relationships work and dont want you all to make wrong moves. Husbands are the best, but ultimately they also belong to a family like you do. No mater what, they will always protect their mom dad and cousins. You do the same. Dont joke about your parents relatives sibling in front of him, he might pick on it and when he uses it in a argument or joke, it will hurt.

So enjoy your wedding, plan it properly, do shopping from where you live, if you have a disagreement talk to they guy. Dont fight a lot, this is all just going to go away in months. Wedding photos are over rated. Its all good if no one fought and everyone enjoyed it as a team.