I see around and there are so many girls so good at so many things, me i am just good at nothing. I don't like to work in office, I am not expert in cooking, I don't entertain guests, I don't like kids, I have no shopping desires. Am I like really weird or depressed? But then I am mostly happy and carefree.
My mom-in-law's cooking was praised so much by my husband and other relatives, I ate and I didn't like it that much. Still I said it was good and she just thought i spoke truth and since then she is always looking for ways to teach me how to cook her way. Anyways this is not about her issues. Its me, I don't like cooking in general. I mean sometimes I make meals but can't figure out how they taste till my husband comes and says salt is less or it is more cooked. If it was left to me, I could eat anything cooked by me. It just doesn't matter.
When I visit my hometown, I am enthusiastic for all those famous shops, go and eat from there. But nothing pleases me from my own kitchen. My tastebuds work well, its just the lost will to test after cooking for an hour. Sometimes rarely aloo ka paratha or soup comes out great but can't replicate it next time. I wonder why. The worst thing is my husband is turning into a better cook every weekend. He is a natural at it. Even his food isn't the exotic dish my taste buds want. But he likes what he makes and eats it like a glutton pig.
So the question is why can't I cook? Why don't I like food anymore unless its from some childhood restaurant??
Now we live in 1bhk flat in a place known for humidity. Its awful even with air conditioner. Since marriage, there have been visits by his father and now his brother is coming. I hate anyone coming into this small apartment. The strangest thing is I can't be normal around anyone in this much closed space, is it like weird I am just unable to sleep, carry on my morning rituals or even sit properly in silence. Worst if i am down, I just feel like i am in that mtv crunch episode where walls are shrinking. I get irritated and start resenting the day we took this apartment thinking it was cute. There is just one bedroom, so we bring another cot into the room and either guest or me sleep between tv and bed on cot. The bathroom is right there too. Its so uncomfortable for me.
But my husband says I am weird and not adjustable. Any normal girl could do this, his mother or sister would. Am i weird or problematic? Again someone is coming and I am already nervous. His mother constantly calls and says she would love if we could all live together in this apartment, imagine 5 people in here. Still my husband says its okk why so serious. But families are comfortable around each other, aint they? I am not a member of their family, wouldn't it be okay if i could sleep in hall. My husband won't even allow that. So what is wrong with me??
There will be time when his cousins will be getting married and i might have to stay at his house full of relatives. It scares me so much , a house full of people, children women men sleeping in different rooms. When ever there is marriage or birthdays or house warming normally people stay in his parents' house. The maximum count could even be 100. Ohh this brings back memories of my marriage , first time i went in his house. My father had hotel reservations for all his guests and we all had different rooms for us. Its so different in my husband's house. What I call comfort zone, they call it arrogance and too proud to fit in.
My mom-in-law's cooking was praised so much by my husband and other relatives, I ate and I didn't like it that much. Still I said it was good and she just thought i spoke truth and since then she is always looking for ways to teach me how to cook her way. Anyways this is not about her issues. Its me, I don't like cooking in general. I mean sometimes I make meals but can't figure out how they taste till my husband comes and says salt is less or it is more cooked. If it was left to me, I could eat anything cooked by me. It just doesn't matter.
When I visit my hometown, I am enthusiastic for all those famous shops, go and eat from there. But nothing pleases me from my own kitchen. My tastebuds work well, its just the lost will to test after cooking for an hour. Sometimes rarely aloo ka paratha or soup comes out great but can't replicate it next time. I wonder why. The worst thing is my husband is turning into a better cook every weekend. He is a natural at it. Even his food isn't the exotic dish my taste buds want. But he likes what he makes and eats it like a glutton pig.
So the question is why can't I cook? Why don't I like food anymore unless its from some childhood restaurant??
Now we live in 1bhk flat in a place known for humidity. Its awful even with air conditioner. Since marriage, there have been visits by his father and now his brother is coming. I hate anyone coming into this small apartment. The strangest thing is I can't be normal around anyone in this much closed space, is it like weird I am just unable to sleep, carry on my morning rituals or even sit properly in silence. Worst if i am down, I just feel like i am in that mtv crunch episode where walls are shrinking. I get irritated and start resenting the day we took this apartment thinking it was cute. There is just one bedroom, so we bring another cot into the room and either guest or me sleep between tv and bed on cot. The bathroom is right there too. Its so uncomfortable for me.
But my husband says I am weird and not adjustable. Any normal girl could do this, his mother or sister would. Am i weird or problematic? Again someone is coming and I am already nervous. His mother constantly calls and says she would love if we could all live together in this apartment, imagine 5 people in here. Still my husband says its okk why so serious. But families are comfortable around each other, aint they? I am not a member of their family, wouldn't it be okay if i could sleep in hall. My husband won't even allow that. So what is wrong with me??
There will be time when his cousins will be getting married and i might have to stay at his house full of relatives. It scares me so much , a house full of people, children women men sleeping in different rooms. When ever there is marriage or birthdays or house warming normally people stay in his parents' house. The maximum count could even be 100. Ohh this brings back memories of my marriage , first time i went in his house. My father had hotel reservations for all his guests and we all had different rooms for us. Its so different in my husband's house. What I call comfort zone, they call it arrogance and too proud to fit in.
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