Indian women get married, you are constantly told now they are your parents, now you should respect them like you respect yours. We all try and fail hopelessly, we start blaming the in-laws, situations, restrictions. Sometimes they are valid too. Other times we have to look deeply and introspect for the sake of our peace.
First of all, this is the moment of detachment in a real spiritual way. As an individual, we are going to another family of varied nature of people. When I got married, young me hated the notion so much, anxiousness nervousness bit of envy for my husband's freedom made me resentful. Till my last trip, it didn't seem fair spending half of my days at in-laws after spending 9 months apart from my parents. Just looked impractical illogical.
Some major goofup happened. Everyone was hurt crying complaining. It dawned on me for my parents, project children is over. If they get involved more in my life, its not going to work for them, for me, for this other family I have accepted. The more inclination or attachment for my parents, more we are all going to suffer. Detachment was the only way out.
In that moment sobbing over the unstable state of mind, some internal voice said, you don't belong to anyone, neither your parents nor your husband can help you out. More I complained, more everyone else got aggravated. It was the first time my tears were ignored like they were uncalled for. Imagine being in a dark room wailing hopelessly when no one ever gets to the core of you because essentially no one really can. Its your feeling, you know its time to understand and leave the house. You may visit but you have to say goodbyes properly.
Everytime every trip physically emotionally I couldn't have endured this. Decision was detachment. We will meet when we can, we have had real fun times but perhaps its time to move on. Life is to be happy wherever you are but that is for you to decide. After that, I didn't look back or at least I tried not to. It takes time to practice new decisions. Whenever I tried, I saw turbulence arise around me.
This is not going to mean I don't love them.They are the only people I can truly love at all times. I am just not attached anymore.
With attachment comes anxiety that brings along fear which for sure leads to madness. I was in madness state for a while. You become most uncaring when you are attached. Just identifying with a group of people to exist happily in life is being a fool. I can extract life from everywhere all around me, love all be nice be wonderful to all. Thats how you exist in the truest sense.
Family is a desperate group of people with the most basic needs, expand beyond that. With attachment, we just grow into these small mafias exercising our will. Don't believe in those fancy things family comes with, your childhood had. You are older wiser. I hope I can act like one from now on. Love will always be there.
Thanks,
Namaste
First of all, this is the moment of detachment in a real spiritual way. As an individual, we are going to another family of varied nature of people. When I got married, young me hated the notion so much, anxiousness nervousness bit of envy for my husband's freedom made me resentful. Till my last trip, it didn't seem fair spending half of my days at in-laws after spending 9 months apart from my parents. Just looked impractical illogical.
Some major goofup happened. Everyone was hurt crying complaining. It dawned on me for my parents, project children is over. If they get involved more in my life, its not going to work for them, for me, for this other family I have accepted. The more inclination or attachment for my parents, more we are all going to suffer. Detachment was the only way out.
In that moment sobbing over the unstable state of mind, some internal voice said, you don't belong to anyone, neither your parents nor your husband can help you out. More I complained, more everyone else got aggravated. It was the first time my tears were ignored like they were uncalled for. Imagine being in a dark room wailing hopelessly when no one ever gets to the core of you because essentially no one really can. Its your feeling, you know its time to understand and leave the house. You may visit but you have to say goodbyes properly.
Everytime every trip physically emotionally I couldn't have endured this. Decision was detachment. We will meet when we can, we have had real fun times but perhaps its time to move on. Life is to be happy wherever you are but that is for you to decide. After that, I didn't look back or at least I tried not to. It takes time to practice new decisions. Whenever I tried, I saw turbulence arise around me.
This is not going to mean I don't love them.They are the only people I can truly love at all times. I am just not attached anymore.
With attachment comes anxiety that brings along fear which for sure leads to madness. I was in madness state for a while. You become most uncaring when you are attached. Just identifying with a group of people to exist happily in life is being a fool. I can extract life from everywhere all around me, love all be nice be wonderful to all. Thats how you exist in the truest sense.
Family is a desperate group of people with the most basic needs, expand beyond that. With attachment, we just grow into these small mafias exercising our will. Don't believe in those fancy things family comes with, your childhood had. You are older wiser. I hope I can act like one from now on. Love will always be there.
Thanks,
Namaste
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