Wedding season is on. What lead to this post is my hour long conversation with my mil. I don't know how but we discussed at least 6 marriages in the same talk, upcoming ones troubled ones and then those running on compromises. When we were growing up, love marriages were the kind of setups with rebels eloping or convincing parents after years of struggle. It wasn't easy. Then arranged marriages happened all the time with parents' happily spending giving away daughters to some family they deemed perfect with their business kundli logic.
The latest wedding trend is yeah arranged love marriage. Two people fall in love, their parents meet say yes and then begins the process of arranged setting. Even though these lovers want to get married, they don't have the guts to tell parents that girl's parents might not want the kind of extravagant drama. Guys feel overwhelmed with the fact mom dad family agreed. According to them, saying or laying more rules might seem like an insult to their loving relatives. I don't think so. What kind of love is it when you see your girl and her family fighting for money and you do nothing. How can you step back when it comes to deciding the finance part? Chicken indian men. They just do the necessary part and step back. Why not do an arrange marriage when you can demand more confidently? People say gifts a little cash is all part of it. No, its not. If someone wants a gayatri temple wedding, why can't they? Why do we have to listen to guys' parents ruling it? You are doing us a favor by marrying, your idiot son loves our moron daughter. Stop calling it love, call it arranged comfortable money minded pig love. I said it, live with it. And girls fight it, do you think he will stand for you when time comes? Think about it. There are so many friends who did love marriage, their parents agreed and now their husbands' parents are much more taunting demanding than arranged marriage scenarios. Stop interfering one time fuck birth givers. Is it like a life term mortgage these girls pay with their peace of mind and relationships?
Indians are so awesome, we fudged up the love part in love marriage. I know at least 4 friends who are not divorcing their husbands and wasting time age kids lives. Even if your husband was having an affair, did it ever occur along with dragging him to court you are ruining your life. The time you could use in shaping up healthy kids or career or peaceful life is all going in ransacking some ex's present. There is this friend who stalks her husband in gym, then picks up random fights and still wants him back. I feel bad for husband. Moving on with life is important too, why is vindictiveness so important in your insignificant journey. There is another one who in the name of dowry has not given divorce for 14 years. Seriously, what are the chances of living happily with this guy you kept tormenting in court police station for more than a decade. Just because there is a kid in equation, it is not okk. Stop it.
Then of course we have arranged marriages. Couples who eat together, work all the time but their conversations are limited to guests relatives kids household appliances. They are so much into the whole whirlwind of responsibilities they stopped looking at each other decades ago. Now its all work till you die, serve till you drop.
Ohh its not that traumatizing. I have seen exceptional couples who are doing everything right, standing with each other making decisions, accepting correcting flaws and moving on towards happiness. Life's cool, we complicate it with money expectations. My in laws never ever poked in our life. When they did, it was amicable and we drew the line too. They never ask how much where we spend our money or anything else for that matter. We are not pressurized to be in weddings or call people. They let us be. Still I am pretty sure there is so much scope of improvement to be done on both sides. So instead of going backwards, move in the right direction, if you feel something is wrong, tell it to your parents especially guys. They will understand. Your wife is your responsibility too, she didn't sign up the birth agreement you have with yours.
The latest wedding trend is yeah arranged love marriage. Two people fall in love, their parents meet say yes and then begins the process of arranged setting. Even though these lovers want to get married, they don't have the guts to tell parents that girl's parents might not want the kind of extravagant drama. Guys feel overwhelmed with the fact mom dad family agreed. According to them, saying or laying more rules might seem like an insult to their loving relatives. I don't think so. What kind of love is it when you see your girl and her family fighting for money and you do nothing. How can you step back when it comes to deciding the finance part? Chicken indian men. They just do the necessary part and step back. Why not do an arrange marriage when you can demand more confidently? People say gifts a little cash is all part of it. No, its not. If someone wants a gayatri temple wedding, why can't they? Why do we have to listen to guys' parents ruling it? You are doing us a favor by marrying, your idiot son loves our moron daughter. Stop calling it love, call it arranged comfortable money minded pig love. I said it, live with it. And girls fight it, do you think he will stand for you when time comes? Think about it. There are so many friends who did love marriage, their parents agreed and now their husbands' parents are much more taunting demanding than arranged marriage scenarios. Stop interfering one time fuck birth givers. Is it like a life term mortgage these girls pay with their peace of mind and relationships?
Indians are so awesome, we fudged up the love part in love marriage. I know at least 4 friends who are not divorcing their husbands and wasting time age kids lives. Even if your husband was having an affair, did it ever occur along with dragging him to court you are ruining your life. The time you could use in shaping up healthy kids or career or peaceful life is all going in ransacking some ex's present. There is this friend who stalks her husband in gym, then picks up random fights and still wants him back. I feel bad for husband. Moving on with life is important too, why is vindictiveness so important in your insignificant journey. There is another one who in the name of dowry has not given divorce for 14 years. Seriously, what are the chances of living happily with this guy you kept tormenting in court police station for more than a decade. Just because there is a kid in equation, it is not okk. Stop it.
Then of course we have arranged marriages. Couples who eat together, work all the time but their conversations are limited to guests relatives kids household appliances. They are so much into the whole whirlwind of responsibilities they stopped looking at each other decades ago. Now its all work till you die, serve till you drop.
Ohh its not that traumatizing. I have seen exceptional couples who are doing everything right, standing with each other making decisions, accepting correcting flaws and moving on towards happiness. Life's cool, we complicate it with money expectations. My in laws never ever poked in our life. When they did, it was amicable and we drew the line too. They never ask how much where we spend our money or anything else for that matter. We are not pressurized to be in weddings or call people. They let us be. Still I am pretty sure there is so much scope of improvement to be done on both sides. So instead of going backwards, move in the right direction, if you feel something is wrong, tell it to your parents especially guys. They will understand. Your wife is your responsibility too, she didn't sign up the birth agreement you have with yours.
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