Well if you just landed on earth and didn't know how to blend in putting aside the fact that in our imagination aliens are these weird ugly creatures who roam around naked, its super easy to be earth citizen. It is we are all functioning cyborgs who think we are all different in our choices our lifestyle when in fact its a code we run on. We do.
To start with, buy iphone. Get coffee from starbucks.
Hmm lets test the theory, say you have extended weekend. What would you do? So mr/ms alien, if you get an extended holiday, plan it like 6 months before. Go to all the places all the extrovert bloggers mentioned with top reviewed restaurants and cheapest accommodations for your category.
Oops category right, we all humans are in different levels of pyramid. There is the homeless who shout and cross road with a puff of something fishy. Then there are the almost 60% working class humans which are the easiest to fit in. Most of the rich ones are doing what they know best, posing working for more bucks again making them just an affluent working class with more stress and better vacation spots. Would you want to swap life with any of the kardashians? Don't even answer or you might stoop in my eyes.
So what do you do when you get free time that you forgot to plan? You make more plans like when is the next sale coming, when is the next cheap flight to any place, when will you have kids, when will you move, where will you buy house. Get on the sites like forsale, zillow, forrent. You do understand the concept of this post, don't you?
We humans do this thing called first eat so much that your body bloats and then we go on cleansing dieting when we start looking fat in pictures. So unless you are genetically blessed fat, eat all the cheese chocolate sugar oil in this world and then when you have trouble rolling around in sleep, join a gym. Or even better do crash dieting, don't have any intentions of getting healthier fitter body, this all is just to look good in the upcoming party. This post is getting meaner slightly.
You must abuse an animal in your lifetime because every other stupid has one. Who cares if you do not know how to raise them, who cares if you even value them. Just get one and let him die slow painful annoyed death. Pet suicides are not that common yet or are they.
This is a must one. Decorate your house, get fancy things that come in your budget. Put so much effort, it actually looks full like ikea showroom.
We also do this ritual called feed routines where we invite people to eat and then they have to call us so we all gain weight in mutual numbers. Also its practically cool to go out and eat and you must must order drinks but not get drunk, what home food who cooks at home stupid?
This is a new trend so you might not know but you have to have some people over the weekend and entertain them with some board games yeah some fat geeky nerd designed this to make others fatter nerdier. Yeah so do that. Obesity with brains is cool. Also find that pokemon.
If you want to buy anything new even if its a bottle, compare in zillion sites so you can save 3$. Also look for black friday all day and run your mind constantly so there is no scope of any reality in you. Just live the human dream alien.
Now, if you ever feel lost or confused, ask any fellow american what they like to do or how they would react to a situation and follow them. So if that american likes to say namaste like fucked up Britisher, you say it that way. Its cool, you know what change your accent too. If your name is difficult to pronounce, change it to an american name like john mike amy clancy. There you go. Better name your dogs american too.
If everyone turns vegan, you must follow. As long as others don't feel inhuman nazi treatment of animals, don't bother. Your time will come too.
Also, one last tip. Always watch similar shows yes and discuss only subjects with money car food house or fake holiday excitement. I am so happy christmas is here ohh my god lets do thanksgiving.
No matter what, you rule your life rules you are fun you are just so awesome even awesomeness envies you. What a great illusion to live in. Keep saving for when apocalypse comes, it will fund your ride to mars.
Huh this is just a random blabber from my mind. So don't take it seriously or may be you should.
Take care. To gain more insight, see this series and follow people with most followers on instagram, pinterest, twitter and welcome to our moronic world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoFoKZ9HgfQ
P.S. Don't watch nature documentaries at all.
To start with, buy iphone. Get coffee from starbucks.
Hmm lets test the theory, say you have extended weekend. What would you do? So mr/ms alien, if you get an extended holiday, plan it like 6 months before. Go to all the places all the extrovert bloggers mentioned with top reviewed restaurants and cheapest accommodations for your category.
Oops category right, we all humans are in different levels of pyramid. There is the homeless who shout and cross road with a puff of something fishy. Then there are the almost 60% working class humans which are the easiest to fit in. Most of the rich ones are doing what they know best, posing working for more bucks again making them just an affluent working class with more stress and better vacation spots. Would you want to swap life with any of the kardashians? Don't even answer or you might stoop in my eyes.
So what do you do when you get free time that you forgot to plan? You make more plans like when is the next sale coming, when is the next cheap flight to any place, when will you have kids, when will you move, where will you buy house. Get on the sites like forsale, zillow, forrent. You do understand the concept of this post, don't you?
We humans do this thing called first eat so much that your body bloats and then we go on cleansing dieting when we start looking fat in pictures. So unless you are genetically blessed fat, eat all the cheese chocolate sugar oil in this world and then when you have trouble rolling around in sleep, join a gym. Or even better do crash dieting, don't have any intentions of getting healthier fitter body, this all is just to look good in the upcoming party. This post is getting meaner slightly.
You must abuse an animal in your lifetime because every other stupid has one. Who cares if you do not know how to raise them, who cares if you even value them. Just get one and let him die slow painful annoyed death. Pet suicides are not that common yet or are they.
This is a must one. Decorate your house, get fancy things that come in your budget. Put so much effort, it actually looks full like ikea showroom.
We also do this ritual called feed routines where we invite people to eat and then they have to call us so we all gain weight in mutual numbers. Also its practically cool to go out and eat and you must must order drinks but not get drunk, what home food who cooks at home stupid?
This is a new trend so you might not know but you have to have some people over the weekend and entertain them with some board games yeah some fat geeky nerd designed this to make others fatter nerdier. Yeah so do that. Obesity with brains is cool. Also find that pokemon.
If you want to buy anything new even if its a bottle, compare in zillion sites so you can save 3$. Also look for black friday all day and run your mind constantly so there is no scope of any reality in you. Just live the human dream alien.
Now, if you ever feel lost or confused, ask any fellow american what they like to do or how they would react to a situation and follow them. So if that american likes to say namaste like fucked up Britisher, you say it that way. Its cool, you know what change your accent too. If your name is difficult to pronounce, change it to an american name like john mike amy clancy. There you go. Better name your dogs american too.
If everyone turns vegan, you must follow. As long as others don't feel inhuman nazi treatment of animals, don't bother. Your time will come too.
Also, one last tip. Always watch similar shows yes and discuss only subjects with money car food house or fake holiday excitement. I am so happy christmas is here ohh my god lets do thanksgiving.
No matter what, you rule your life rules you are fun you are just so awesome even awesomeness envies you. What a great illusion to live in. Keep saving for when apocalypse comes, it will fund your ride to mars.
Huh this is just a random blabber from my mind. So don't take it seriously or may be you should.
Take care. To gain more insight, see this series and follow people with most followers on instagram, pinterest, twitter and welcome to our moronic world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoFoKZ9HgfQ
P.S. Don't watch nature documentaries at all.
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