About Me

My photo
Seattle, Washington, United States
Strive for wholeness. If you are happy and content, there is nothing more you can achieve in material world. Life is not what we think it is.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Yoga species : Types of yoga mates

A few years ago, my first workout in gym inspired a whole post on indian gym goers. Now comes the second edition in yoga version. I am going places, aint I? To be honest, when you walk in that yoga class you don't really expect a lot of different characters. Its just yoga, people come people leave its all silence and poses. Time communication is not just enough to make out the differences. The power of a woman's observation surpassed all the obstacles and here it goes, my indian eyes see cosmopolitan yoga class with all the species in it. It does take some time to notice as you are crumbling in initial classes. Every person looks like a yogi but are they?


Couples : I absolutely hate couples coming for yoga. Why? Clearly one of them got interested first, practiced till they could show off and then influenced the other one to lay mat side by side. Its annoying, they don't even need to compete with others, they are out there proving flexibility to each other. The energy or should I say aura is so distracting surrounding these species. Its road to divorce or breakup, its harsh but thats how truth is. This particular couple will never attain the peace or stability in class or life.

Oldie buddies : Ohh we have been doing yoga for 20 years now together. They are better than the real couple, there is no competition there is no relationship goals pic motivation for instagram. Of course they can be equally irritating with their before class talks or smiling at each other faces. Again, laying mat next to them feels like you are alone against a team. I might be overthinking here but nah its true.

Hot n not so hot : Well we all know that hot women and yoga go together. Out of 10, at least there is probability of having 1 hot icon in class. Then exist the fake hot girls who wear hot clothes, come with makeup on, hair tied like it took an hour to get ready. Hot or not, if they are not doing yoga right, its just a waste of time and money. Most of these hot and not hot come in pairs. Not hot one making the hotter girl look even more hot and praising her all the time like a follower.

Candy guys : Out of 4 months of my brief yoga encounter, there was just one time one hot guy came to our class. This species is super rare in our suburb of city.

Hippies : They all come with groupons or free classes. Their clothes, their hair and super skinny weed body gives them away. Some of them have weird ponytails with lotus tattoos inked by a block artist or perhaps themselves. Obviously, they are good at yoga or at least trying to be good.

Indians : This species is kind of scarce which is really good. Every class has like 2 or 3 indians. Now indian girls like me who are over dressed give others sweaty arms, also no matter how much we pull our ass in, its always out like we twerked all our life. We are all a little plump in US size standards and as yoga makes you lose boobs, you kind of look not so proportionate. Then there are indian guys who dress up like they are going for wrestling, their short red revealing underwear is too much to handle. When they try specific yoga poses, you just die. There are some moments you just wanna blank up in your life.

Hot girls : Hot girls know they are hot, they know people might be saving seat behind or around them. Some of us might even argue why is this species here? I have never ever seen a hot one following up for all classes. I don't know they might be going around showing off in all the classes and taking cross fit in secret.

Beautiful people : Its not just outer beauty, these people are the true yogis with inner beauty. They smile when you enter class, they acknowledge people, they do whats best for their body. If they lay mat near you, you are going to get all the perfect vibes to practice. When they do a split standing up, its not showing off. Its their practice. With shavasana, you feel them not doing anything like they disappeared. These are the people I want to learn from, be with.

Other asians : Unlike indians, other asians are way more competitive flexible and fierce in yoga. They are sexy, they know how its done. They are the future of yoga. I would never lay mat next to them because of the immense hard working energy around them. It chokes me in my practice.

Old guys : A lot of old people come for yoga just in shorts or sports bra with a short. Its not the kind of view you want to see all that loosening fat gathering for full splits. They sigh longer, they are more open to their body functions, they want to talk sometimes. All the effort makes them grumpy after yoga. They are not here for peace, they are just here for the exercise part.

Trainer groupees : These are the bunch of people who stuck by from beginning of class to now. Their faith is with the trainer, this is the only kind of yoga classes they came for. When a class is full to max, you know they are trainer fans. They laugh at all the stupid jokes he makes, they blend in like a family which frankly is super annoying.

Competitors : The worst category out of all. If you want to compete, go for cross fit or group training sessions, leave yoga. As soon as you walk into the room, there should not be any intention of competition. Yoga was supposed to be a practice that you did with no one but your teacher. Times changed, teachers are less and expensive so we moved on to group classes. If you know it all, save your money, practice at home. If you walk into  a yoga room with the spirit of winning, you have already lost.

NAMASTE





No comments:

Post a Comment