Well, I was googling this so I could find a link to send my father and he might get some help in setting house right for my stay. Nah, all that popped up were articles on how NRI kids leave their parents alone in company of neighbors and how they should be taking care of them blah blah blah.
Seriously, we see old people as these helpless fragile creatures who can't take care of themselves but we forget they have seen life, they might get into the temptation of acting like kids if we give them the opportunity but if you think about it, they have gone through way worse than we have seen. They can out survive us any day. Have you ever thought they might not even want to live with their ignorant bullshitting kids? Everyone just wants to put sympathy out for them when they could be rocking in a pub. Leave them alone, let them be, they are way awesomer and independent than you ever will be.
So yeah how to make your house and India trip NRI proof haha
Water water : I called up my dad and asked him to get nice bottled water and his first reaction was try drinking filter water so you get used to it. First of all, I have to torture my body and get worms or diarrhea or even get other health problems then I should keep going to people's houses who literally dip fingers in water or fill it from a tap. There is no shame in carrying your own water. Your body is used to better water, accept it. So yeah parents get that water.
Flush-able toilet roll : Hmmm yeah it should be flushable and there should be a toilet roll in house. We don't really go indian way anymore so if you do really love us, make some efforts. I am not asking you to make my room look like a palace. Small things do help in getting through days. Its the simplest of things in everybody's routine that make a huge difference. Clean up your bathrooms. I know people are gonna say, what you used to live here now you are creating a fuss. We are not, we are just telling you how we can live with you happily. No one ever complained when we kept bucket for you in our bath tub or your black toothpaste ruined our sink.
Cook at home : Gone are the days when your kids could gobble up street food. So don't buy those sweets or salty snacks or even chaat from probably the most famous shop in your city. The moment I eat something wrong, my stomach churns, I am like an instant health inspection officer Yeah parents its better to serve simple home cooked meals. The lighter the better.
Less relative visits : As soon as we called up, relative visits were arranged. We were supposed to travel for 12 hours and see people next 12 hours then again travel and see more. I get it, people are sick, people love us but sometimes you have to understand how much a person can really take. At least ask them if they are open to travelling and visiting 15 houses in one day. There is a dress code you need to adhere to if you are a daughter in law. Seriously there are so many days girls hate travelling and they always get stuck on those. If only men bled, they wouldn't make plans so not thoughtfully. To top it all, how do you manage to say no to water food in each and every house.
Book cabs: Hmmm we don't really like travelling in open air modes of transportation. So no autorickshaws, ask us to book cabs and we will happily. Don't look down on us, its just how we travel. The inconvenience is not an option. Don't even think about walking around market in hot summer days.
No trains : As much as I hate myself for spending almost double on flights, I loath trains. They are unhygienic, they have blankets that give me all sorts of allergy, their seats give me backpain and lets not even talk about washrooms and neer water. Please avoid trains. The struggle of getting on a train and getting off it with the amount of luggage we carry is simply torturous and I wouldn't wish it on my worst NRI enemy.
Jetlag recovery: Jetlag is real and it takes like a week to get over the time zone. Spare us for a week. I would love to book a hotel and just chill in it till my body is comfortable to step out in chaos.
Less work at home : My friends who had never washed clothes or dishes in last 8 months had to do it. Its not what keeps us grounded, buy a washing machine , get a maid for dishes. We really get no fun in doing all this homely stuff. Avoid calling people for dinners and lunches, we are not going to cook and serve. I am kind of going a bit far but thats how I feel so yeah kill me.
No gifts : Luckily, we didn't really have to carry gifts but people have to. My friend got 3 suitcases for relatives and choclates and booze. If you buy something out of love for friends, its cool but if its just for parents' sake, it becomes such a pain. Don't show us off, besides taking money from people sounds weird too.
Dont fill suitcases: We earn in dollars, we buy in dollars. There is no need to convert every single product. One of my friends actually carried toothpastes from India because her mother in law wouldn't stop taunting her on difference in price. If you keep aside a few spices, there really is no need to buy anything from India.
Dont miss us : As soon as we landed, our parents were texting waiting for you missing you. Stop it, I loved staying in hotels and there was no guilt in the world that would get me out of my super luxurious room. Seriously, unless I have a real furnished air conditioned hotel room with gym and swimming pool waiting for me, I am not coming unless I really have to. Why would I want to go to a place where I have to dress up like a behenji and make small talk?
Seriously, we see old people as these helpless fragile creatures who can't take care of themselves but we forget they have seen life, they might get into the temptation of acting like kids if we give them the opportunity but if you think about it, they have gone through way worse than we have seen. They can out survive us any day. Have you ever thought they might not even want to live with their ignorant bullshitting kids? Everyone just wants to put sympathy out for them when they could be rocking in a pub. Leave them alone, let them be, they are way awesomer and independent than you ever will be.
So yeah how to make your house and India trip NRI proof haha
Water water : I called up my dad and asked him to get nice bottled water and his first reaction was try drinking filter water so you get used to it. First of all, I have to torture my body and get worms or diarrhea or even get other health problems then I should keep going to people's houses who literally dip fingers in water or fill it from a tap. There is no shame in carrying your own water. Your body is used to better water, accept it. So yeah parents get that water.
Flush-able toilet roll : Hmmm yeah it should be flushable and there should be a toilet roll in house. We don't really go indian way anymore so if you do really love us, make some efforts. I am not asking you to make my room look like a palace. Small things do help in getting through days. Its the simplest of things in everybody's routine that make a huge difference. Clean up your bathrooms. I know people are gonna say, what you used to live here now you are creating a fuss. We are not, we are just telling you how we can live with you happily. No one ever complained when we kept bucket for you in our bath tub or your black toothpaste ruined our sink.
Cook at home : Gone are the days when your kids could gobble up street food. So don't buy those sweets or salty snacks or even chaat from probably the most famous shop in your city. The moment I eat something wrong, my stomach churns, I am like an instant health inspection officer Yeah parents its better to serve simple home cooked meals. The lighter the better.
Less relative visits : As soon as we called up, relative visits were arranged. We were supposed to travel for 12 hours and see people next 12 hours then again travel and see more. I get it, people are sick, people love us but sometimes you have to understand how much a person can really take. At least ask them if they are open to travelling and visiting 15 houses in one day. There is a dress code you need to adhere to if you are a daughter in law. Seriously there are so many days girls hate travelling and they always get stuck on those. If only men bled, they wouldn't make plans so not thoughtfully. To top it all, how do you manage to say no to water food in each and every house.
Book cabs: Hmmm we don't really like travelling in open air modes of transportation. So no autorickshaws, ask us to book cabs and we will happily. Don't look down on us, its just how we travel. The inconvenience is not an option. Don't even think about walking around market in hot summer days.
No trains : As much as I hate myself for spending almost double on flights, I loath trains. They are unhygienic, they have blankets that give me all sorts of allergy, their seats give me backpain and lets not even talk about washrooms and neer water. Please avoid trains. The struggle of getting on a train and getting off it with the amount of luggage we carry is simply torturous and I wouldn't wish it on my worst NRI enemy.
Jetlag recovery: Jetlag is real and it takes like a week to get over the time zone. Spare us for a week. I would love to book a hotel and just chill in it till my body is comfortable to step out in chaos.
Less work at home : My friends who had never washed clothes or dishes in last 8 months had to do it. Its not what keeps us grounded, buy a washing machine , get a maid for dishes. We really get no fun in doing all this homely stuff. Avoid calling people for dinners and lunches, we are not going to cook and serve. I am kind of going a bit far but thats how I feel so yeah kill me.
No gifts : Luckily, we didn't really have to carry gifts but people have to. My friend got 3 suitcases for relatives and choclates and booze. If you buy something out of love for friends, its cool but if its just for parents' sake, it becomes such a pain. Don't show us off, besides taking money from people sounds weird too.
Dont fill suitcases: We earn in dollars, we buy in dollars. There is no need to convert every single product. One of my friends actually carried toothpastes from India because her mother in law wouldn't stop taunting her on difference in price. If you keep aside a few spices, there really is no need to buy anything from India.
Dont miss us : As soon as we landed, our parents were texting waiting for you missing you. Stop it, I loved staying in hotels and there was no guilt in the world that would get me out of my super luxurious room. Seriously, unless I have a real furnished air conditioned hotel room with gym and swimming pool waiting for me, I am not coming unless I really have to. Why would I want to go to a place where I have to dress up like a behenji and make small talk?
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