Rape Causes According to Middle Aged women India

I had lunch with some new friends yesterday most of who are  nearing 50, and currently indians' favorite topic is "Delhi Bus Gang Rape" . Every other person wants to say how disgustingly sick barbaric some human beings could be. How low they could stoop to ?

 But then comes the statement I hate the most. I am going to quote as that so called modern woman said
 " Don't you think body hugging tight dresses are the main reason behind rapes and crimes against women? "

Then other one jumped in who was in tight hugging dress showing off her bust when she served and said even though i wear these kind of dresses i am always in car wearing jacket and scarf. I never travel in public buses or auto when I have to go to a party . Its common sense for girls. Others started applauding on how she simply blamed the one with a short dress in bus on being touched in wrong way.

Another housewife who was growing anxious said if the girls get in trouble on wearing short skimpy dresses, they called for it.

After listening to all of this, I was ashamed of the fact I decided to go for lunch with these so called broad minded socialites having super rich background and extremely successful parents with powerful positions. I couldn't believe the words coming out of their mouth.

Then they started provoking me to speak on something relevant to the topic. I asked them if there is an eveteaser and he is standing on the road, would he differentiate between a girl in saree and a girl in skirt. If there is a rapist, would he let go a girl in salwar suit because she is so traditional and pounce on all the short dressed girls only because they look inviting to him.

All she could say was ohh I am not talking about the guy who has perversions, I am discussing the precautions a girl should take for her safety. Still not satisfied, I decided to be silent and listen more of this rubbish she had on her mind.

Well same woman pointed out how you know that when you are in short tight dress, guys will look back at you. I said whats wrong with it if you wanna look desirable and pretty and confident and amazing. I work out every day, some day I would love to wear a dress that is long enough and still covers nothing. Still I would want my freedom to roam around, there is no intention of getting raped or noticed, i just want to look fab n gorgeous. Being the youngest in the group, they kind of cut me out of the whole talk session possibly seeing my ideas as absurd and too radical.

There were so many things that came to mind when I reached back home, I made an excuse of gym, left in the middle of their bizarre conversation about fat women and leggings driving two wheeler making it vulgar with thighs. One of them was telling how much of a good daughter in law she is and others quickly started telling tales of wisdom and respect for elders and dressing properly and mannerisms and cooking and then i phased out. So just left the place.

Anyways I enter the house and the whole points that i could have blurted out are in my mind. Sad but true, I wish I just remembered all of these there and proved my point to those orthodox oldies.

First of all, answer to  the women in dress who covered and travel-led in car if she had to go to a party, what does a middle class family girl does. Does she ask her father to book a cab or buy her a car. What about going to college everyday? Not everyone is rich enough to afford luxuries like that. Does that mean she has no right to party or go to prom or go out to discs or with friends anywhere?

Secondly, public transportation is for public. I know its bad because the buses are full, metro is crowded so what do you do, start dressing up what others would find perfectly non sexy. The person who touches everyday every other woman who makes mistake of travelling in train and unfortunately standing near him is the culprit. Not those women, how can you even ask them to mind what they wear. Do you think he will spare you if you are in a burqua.

Thirdly, there is no relation between rapes and what girls do or not do. I mean its so sad that even three year old girl gets raped. What did she do to deserve that? What could she have wore or shown or illustrated to give them the wrong ideas? I just don't get it.

Yes, I agree if your butt crack is showing, thats bad. Cover it. But if some fool or stupid guy starts following you, don't you think he has nothing better to do and he is kind of desperate. The women proudly said I show these fat women, butt cracks girls, hoarding wives to my husband and tell him look at that girl, u r lucky u got me and i am not like them. Wtf, yeah sure no wonder so many women never found justice because there were other women saying they deserved it, they called for it, they shouldn't have stepped out in night, they should mind their clothing. What can poor men do, they are straight animals giving to their sex urges. Aaah, i am so mad i can never look at their faces in the same way again. Its so infuriating insulting. Why are women so partial and madly in love with male counterparts that every bad thing that happens to a woman even if its domestic violence is her mistake.

People who piss me off at gym...grrr...grrrr

I joined gym around 3 months ago and frankly I don't see a difference in me, but I feel fit, psychologically and it boosts confidence. I am around 5 feet 7 inches at age 26, my waist is stuck at 29 ( no matter how much cardio abs i do the fat won't melt away) and so weight is always 53 kgs. This has got nothing to do with what I am going to write about, i thought it could help you in imagining I look slim but I have a not so toned body. Being a housewife most of my time is wasted on cooking  cleaning and then finally something fruitful called gym. I take it pretty seriously but thanks to these people I can't concentrate enough. 

Chatty Chips : Aaaah at first I liked how they were friends and worked out together, you know how they do in those weight loss shows, sweating losing fat in a group, but no all they do is talk talk talk, about their children about their maid and no levels increase, no fat melts, its all the same. Their irritating chit chats, gym is more of their meeting point and then they go for walks, those super long chatty walks. When someone questions them about stupid easy exercises, they say we have backpain, we have problem in bones of legs and hands. They even turn down the music so the conversations are audible to everyone in the gym. These women use gym to discuss dinner lunch life dogs periods, any thing but their blasting fat from tummies.  If you think chatty ladies are bad, try chatty unfit uncles. 


Copy Cats : This is another irritating frustrated breed that copies your moves. I don't mind in telling you what I do for what I do it, but have the courtesy of asking, don't just start following me like some monkey without knowing the proper way. I had this girl who would copy my warmout exercises then my strength workout routine and even tried to compete with me on treadmill. Oh come on, why can't people go to google, youtube or those slender workouts. Just don't make me conscious of being watched over all the time. I have even had guys following my routine which is sad. Its not like I never saw other exercises, I just chose not to make other person uncomfortable.

Machine Hoggers : Well everyone has seen them, we know what this species does, they get on a machine, tune some regional tv channel or sports and keep RUNNING at 5.1 kph, seriously sometimes they go to 6 and thats the best they can do. They are on the machine for more than an hour. Some of them have so much time they could literally write a book while on treadmill. You can't ask them to get down, its rude and who wants to talk to dumb person who thinks they will be losing with such a workout plan. Some fool instructor with sole intention of consoling them asked them to just treadmill or  do elliptical, he got off but we suffer to this day. All you can do is look out for opportunity window and grab it when they are busy on mobile or instructing their maids what to cook.

Your Casual Old Mom Like Acquaintance : Okay I admit one of the worst mistakes I ever made was talking to the oldies for a longer time, I would have been better off alone but I have a habit of getting all adorable and let them see me as their kid to the extent of advising and instructing me after which of course i vanish from their radar. But the harm is done. So I had casual conversations with this group of moms who got married at 20 and have 22 year old sons. Now unfortunately their gym timings coincide with mine being a housewife gym time and gym is closed from 12 to 4 pm. So long story short when i am on my workout trail catching my breath to holding weights, they are taking long breaks and keep commenting on how i don't need to workout or i should be eating more butter or the worst thing making fun of me while i am running on treadmill or in pilates yoga pose how i could just disappear if i do it more. Its so offensive once i let them enter that zone, i can't retreat so i am stuck stuck stuck. I once admitted how much I hated cooking and then they are like ohh husband or child has the right to decent meal , one should cook more and how you should do it. Blah blah blah they chat forever and my waist could go to 32 inches if time doesn't change for gym. 

Show offs : This is the category with more men and less women, primarily because there are not many women with fit body and more guys with illusion they have one. Well my husband has a no fat body with extreme abs, like serious abs, sadly no muscles , he is as lean as i am. So i know when you are fit, when you are not. Major show off guys come in groups, they talk more to instructor like they are some childhood buddies and once in a while do some weights, whats the worst part is they wear sleeveless t shirts and really short tight pants, bermudas. Well, they split up in every corner of the gym, having conversations in signals, winking laughing at each other, setting weights to ultimate high levels and doing nothing with it. 

They hate gym music : Yeah the whole idea of gym music is to help you with running, pump up the spirit speed. These idiots don't get it, they are all about their boring customized music, they want taylor swift or keith urban or even rajesh khanna on the ipod so for their own sake, they reduce the volume in gym which is so not happening. It disrupts the workout for others, yeah some would question get your own music but i like it when something is not in my ear and the volume is high to get me into the whole working out mood. Besides its gym, not your house where you can ask your pet kids to obey you.

Meddling instructors : We have a really good gym instructor, who never ever bothers anyone unless you ask him to and then he went on leave. So came this short black fellow, I think while explaining to him what he was to do, he was told you are going to be a teacher, treat them as students, get discipline in place. And so he started asking people to keep yoga mats in place or medicine balls in corner when in fact they were working on them. Yeah, then came another one who looked like a hunk from some slum and kept staring at women working out or showing off his body by wearing way too cheesy clothes. Its like a nightmare, the whole place starts stinking, this is the worst of all things that could happen in gym.

Bring along the kids : When some fitness channel was promoting couple workout plan, they never imagined they had kids and they couldn't afford the nanny so these delightful in love couples bring along kids who by the way stare at you or make funny noises and some of them can be pretty creepy spooky weird, i hate kids i don't find them cute at all except if they are cat babies or dog babies or any baby except human baby. So these lovely together mates sometimes even get the kid with diaper on treadmill or for cycling. They keep talking to kids, telling them stupid stories. I hate it , why can't you complain against kids families when they can complain against anything and its heard. 

Fat Ugly Teenagers : Okay I am not against teenagers coming in, what seems less tempting is teenagers who visit gym once in may be 3 months, they enter to just sit around, try different machines and then say ohh i am going to come here everyday, i could lose so much but you know what i am what i am...Aaah if someone saw raising the bar from south park, they will get it. Yeah you are fat, you need to workout, come regularly. Don't make this a  monthly hangout place to make plans for other parties. Just leave. 

Not dressed for the gym : I have seen people dressed in traditional indian clothes or guys dressed up in shirts shorts and chappals. Who am I to say anything but the dress code is inked on the entrance of the gym. This species is mostly here to take weight or just check out the place. So they are not that much of a hassle.