Well, as soon as you know you are getting married, you perceive a lot of characters, situations. You expect a lot of things to be like you heard from others. I did the same, and with all the negative traits and stories in mind, i entered his house. Its so psychological, you think they are gonna want to rule, they are going to make you work in kitchen, they will judge you, force you to sing dance etc, choke you with customs and rituals, show you off to relatives, get a lot of dowry from your parents. Well most of them do this too. Victims create victims. But with so many working families in scene, the whole character play is changed. Rules are different, in fact the only rule is to be nice and loving and respectful. Only if you are in right family.
With all these negative hopes, you will get nowhere or may be you better be prepped up. So don't be too rosy don't be too negative, just be normal. My mother-in-law is the best n most awesome person i have ever met. I didn't realize it in beginning but now after living with her for more than 15 days, i know she is way too forward than most of the moms i have seen. A few situations that changed my outlook on her are :
1) When the new bride enters, she is supposed to cook something for the relatives. The come to meet her, taste food cooked by her and then give her some money as the part of blessings. I am a horrible cook, i could never imagine cooking. But she never even asked me to cook, she just asked me to serve and dress properly. At that point, i hated serving too but now when i think of it, she was way too kind to me.
2) Just recently, my husband decided to go to mall with his cousins who were all dressed in jeans, shirts which i would normally wear too. But when he asked if i wanted to go, i said no because i won't feel comfortable being the odd one with all married stuff and gaudy salwar suit. But my mil asked me the reason and told me to wear whatever i wanted and enjoy like other youngsters. What she said was if other people's kids are enjoying , my daughter should too.
3) Some old lady came to my mil and asked her to start teaching me to cook like her. What she promptly said was does your daughter work at home, do you nag her for sitting around or watching tv, do you expect her to work all day with you? Why would she work, let her be my daughter for next 5 years. Till then she will learn, besides she cooks every day for my son in chennai. Aah, sometimes luck just showers like hell.
4) Some other person started talking about kids and my mil abruptly stopped them and told them, whenever they are ready they will have, they have to be mentally ready for it, it doesn't matter if its 30 or 35 or 40. Let them be children for a longer time, we want to be the only parents for a considerable time. Its all on them. They are the deciding ones. Even my mom wouldn't say this.She says everything in the nicest way possible, still puts her point across. There is so much to learn.
I have seen so many relatives coming to her for advice, so many new brides looking forward to sit with her. Most of them even said they wanted her in place of their mil. But uh my luck ruled them out.
With all these negative hopes, you will get nowhere or may be you better be prepped up. So don't be too rosy don't be too negative, just be normal. My mother-in-law is the best n most awesome person i have ever met. I didn't realize it in beginning but now after living with her for more than 15 days, i know she is way too forward than most of the moms i have seen. A few situations that changed my outlook on her are :
1) When the new bride enters, she is supposed to cook something for the relatives. The come to meet her, taste food cooked by her and then give her some money as the part of blessings. I am a horrible cook, i could never imagine cooking. But she never even asked me to cook, she just asked me to serve and dress properly. At that point, i hated serving too but now when i think of it, she was way too kind to me.
2) Just recently, my husband decided to go to mall with his cousins who were all dressed in jeans, shirts which i would normally wear too. But when he asked if i wanted to go, i said no because i won't feel comfortable being the odd one with all married stuff and gaudy salwar suit. But my mil asked me the reason and told me to wear whatever i wanted and enjoy like other youngsters. What she said was if other people's kids are enjoying , my daughter should too.
3) Some old lady came to my mil and asked her to start teaching me to cook like her. What she promptly said was does your daughter work at home, do you nag her for sitting around or watching tv, do you expect her to work all day with you? Why would she work, let her be my daughter for next 5 years. Till then she will learn, besides she cooks every day for my son in chennai. Aah, sometimes luck just showers like hell.
4) Some other person started talking about kids and my mil abruptly stopped them and told them, whenever they are ready they will have, they have to be mentally ready for it, it doesn't matter if its 30 or 35 or 40. Let them be children for a longer time, we want to be the only parents for a considerable time. Its all on them. They are the deciding ones. Even my mom wouldn't say this.She says everything in the nicest way possible, still puts her point across. There is so much to learn.
I have seen so many relatives coming to her for advice, so many new brides looking forward to sit with her. Most of them even said they wanted her in place of their mil. But uh my luck ruled them out.
