Like the smileys, my emotions are totally mixed up. Its happiness of seeing my mom,dad, sis there is this huge discomfort prediction that keeps popping up in my head. There are so many expectations, situations, people testing our peace. My house is like a comfort bubble where nothing ever gets to my nerves. Bulletproof setting for seeing all those b k shivani. Now that out there is the field where the test is. May be this is examination anxiety.
Let me address all my stupid fears so its kind of a letting go feeling.
My very first fear is flight. Ohhh who doesn't hate long hauls, fear of flight delays, flight food. Solution obviously is to just let it flow how it is supposed to be. Not even an inch of it is in our control. Hmm answers are within us. Pack light, stretch when you can, don't carry laptops, carry books cookies , wear comfortable clothes, take extra pair and just chill. Never forget those headache pills. Handle it all gracefully. Meditate yoga when you can.
My second fear is missing out on yoga. Who wouldn't miss out on big mirrors, instructors, perfect advanced classes. But then again my parents do yoga, my dad has been meditating for years so it could turn into a mini yoga retreat too. At the end of our trip, we are also going to an actual retreat in thailand. See, stupid exaggerated fears. In fact, even if I don't want to do, I am pretty sure my mom will make me do yoga, meditation, mantras like she did in childhood. This is going to be huge learning. First time my dad will take meditation sessions. Its gonna be cool. Flight time could be like a recovering time for us to just relax.
Summer : Summer is like hot yoga room in India. You know the advantage, no one really walks, everyone has cars ACs. Basically its just AC to AC travel. So complaining about summer is not even a talk.
Wedding : We are going for a wedding, its my worst nightmare, dressing up meeting people. Now now dressing up is not an issue because I don't really care. All I do is dance eat make some jokes and escape. So that fear is purely irrational. People well that is the test. Again, I survived my sister's wedding by my own rules. This shall pass too. I will dance, be happy, be nice to people. Accommodations are already taken care of. Nothing to worry there.
People : Hmm there are some untangled relationships. I am just going to be me, more expressive, more nicer but still protecting my feelings and calmful. Hehe probably thinking of b k shivani a lot. Lucky for me, its just a few weeks in an year. All I have to do is practice what I listen all day.
Water food train : Yeah NRIs and their issues. Most of my trip involves in protected homes so water food is not even an issue. There is just one train journey and that too nightly. Yeah, another fear killed.
Travelling so much : When you travel that far, of course you travel almost a week. Whining is a way to go but why not enjoy every moment. Its not in our hands what why how happens. Lie down, eat, chill. Read a good book, share jokes, meditate.
So lets count good things too. First one is hanging out with my family which is really fun. We have so many inside jokes that only we share and laugh at. So many fun memories. We can just hang out at home, do nothing all day and still be content. Its like friends having polite conversations that include lots of pleases, thank yous and super healthy meals.
I get to test my little earned wisdom on peace and stability with people. I can mend some relations, be a mature person.
My thailand yoga retreat is the highlight of our trip. It will be so serene to practice yoga in a beautiful seaside resort with vegan meals and massages.
I get to shop in indian malls which are so much better than here, hmmm because I understand them, I know the quality price distinction. Sizes fit me better prettier.
I get so much love from everyone my parents, my in laws, my mom's friends, my relatives. I get to eat all my fav food and there is no cooking or chores involved. I meet a few friends of mine, one of the kids I babysat.
Then my hometown is obviously there. Its called city of lakes. Its beautiful, sunrise sunsets lush green, stray dogs cats.
Best thing is its my birthday. Gifts gifts gifts. Yay.
I don't expect anything but happiness and peace. I will not expect anything from people. I will be content. I will not complain or whine. Nothing will touch my peace. I will do yoga. I will meditate. I will not over eat. I will be loving, caring, thoughtful to everyone but primarily to me and my husband. I will enjoy each and every moment. If I feel attacked or lost, b k shivani will come to my rescue.
OM SHANTI OM
Let me address all my stupid fears so its kind of a letting go feeling.
My very first fear is flight. Ohhh who doesn't hate long hauls, fear of flight delays, flight food. Solution obviously is to just let it flow how it is supposed to be. Not even an inch of it is in our control. Hmm answers are within us. Pack light, stretch when you can, don't carry laptops, carry books cookies , wear comfortable clothes, take extra pair and just chill. Never forget those headache pills. Handle it all gracefully. Meditate yoga when you can.
My second fear is missing out on yoga. Who wouldn't miss out on big mirrors, instructors, perfect advanced classes. But then again my parents do yoga, my dad has been meditating for years so it could turn into a mini yoga retreat too. At the end of our trip, we are also going to an actual retreat in thailand. See, stupid exaggerated fears. In fact, even if I don't want to do, I am pretty sure my mom will make me do yoga, meditation, mantras like she did in childhood. This is going to be huge learning. First time my dad will take meditation sessions. Its gonna be cool. Flight time could be like a recovering time for us to just relax.
Summer : Summer is like hot yoga room in India. You know the advantage, no one really walks, everyone has cars ACs. Basically its just AC to AC travel. So complaining about summer is not even a talk.
Wedding : We are going for a wedding, its my worst nightmare, dressing up meeting people. Now now dressing up is not an issue because I don't really care. All I do is dance eat make some jokes and escape. So that fear is purely irrational. People well that is the test. Again, I survived my sister's wedding by my own rules. This shall pass too. I will dance, be happy, be nice to people. Accommodations are already taken care of. Nothing to worry there.
People : Hmm there are some untangled relationships. I am just going to be me, more expressive, more nicer but still protecting my feelings and calmful. Hehe probably thinking of b k shivani a lot. Lucky for me, its just a few weeks in an year. All I have to do is practice what I listen all day.
Water food train : Yeah NRIs and their issues. Most of my trip involves in protected homes so water food is not even an issue. There is just one train journey and that too nightly. Yeah, another fear killed.
Travelling so much : When you travel that far, of course you travel almost a week. Whining is a way to go but why not enjoy every moment. Its not in our hands what why how happens. Lie down, eat, chill. Read a good book, share jokes, meditate.
So lets count good things too. First one is hanging out with my family which is really fun. We have so many inside jokes that only we share and laugh at. So many fun memories. We can just hang out at home, do nothing all day and still be content. Its like friends having polite conversations that include lots of pleases, thank yous and super healthy meals.
I get to test my little earned wisdom on peace and stability with people. I can mend some relations, be a mature person.
My thailand yoga retreat is the highlight of our trip. It will be so serene to practice yoga in a beautiful seaside resort with vegan meals and massages.
I get to shop in indian malls which are so much better than here, hmmm because I understand them, I know the quality price distinction. Sizes fit me better prettier.
I get so much love from everyone my parents, my in laws, my mom's friends, my relatives. I get to eat all my fav food and there is no cooking or chores involved. I meet a few friends of mine, one of the kids I babysat.
Then my hometown is obviously there. Its called city of lakes. Its beautiful, sunrise sunsets lush green, stray dogs cats.
Best thing is its my birthday. Gifts gifts gifts. Yay.
I don't expect anything but happiness and peace. I will not expect anything from people. I will be content. I will not complain or whine. Nothing will touch my peace. I will do yoga. I will meditate. I will not over eat. I will be loving, caring, thoughtful to everyone but primarily to me and my husband. I will enjoy each and every moment. If I feel attacked or lost, b k shivani will come to my rescue.
OM SHANTI OM
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