I got married like three years ago and now my sister is getting married. Hmmm as the date gets closer, she gets crankier. Its like she is always fighting with mum dad or just gossiping about her would be. Who am i to complain, i did the same. We were raised to be not so loyal i guess. When i see her treating them like this, I feel even more guilty for what i did to my parents in my wedding. So I am just gonna write down what we all do unintentionally in our bridal mode. Hope it helps in understanding parents' and relatives' perspective on your wedding.
1) He is right , you daddy are wrong : Ohh this is a classic thing. I did it, I know we are all in love and we think there is no better couple. But trust me this is just a phase. Every couple is unique. Yes you both a are a team, but this time your parents need you. They want you in their team, not this guy's team. Your dad is already hating the fact how u r putting this guy over him. So no matter what happens, daddy is right unless of course he is trying to exercise honor killing. By the way 80% of guys would let their parents do whatever they want to do in wedding.
2) No work, just advice : Yeah my sister does this and its so ruthless. She is in a far off city doing her job and then she has opinions on every minute thing my dad does. Like for a wedding card design, she texts him like 1000 times to make changes but when she can go to shop and get it fixed in an hour, she won't go. Its like my dad has a new boss who does nothing but cry over stupid things no one notices. Trust me, i havent seen my wedding card in years, people read it for date and throw it away or use it to pick dog's poop. So dont be so melodramatic over not so important things.
3) Everyone join for shopping : Well, first of all decide what you want , u want a lehenga or a saree. You want it made or you want to rent it. Then go for shopping. Its tough for people living in different cities to just come over for your saree shopping which by the way you might keep in a suitcase and put that suitcase in a upstairs loft. So yeah don't give people crappy guilt, its ur day, shop with your own money. Decide your own jewellery. Better look in your city, go window shopping for months and then you will have an accurate idea of what you want. No one knows what you want more than yourself.
4) Do something my poor bf can't : This is what she does, ohh i don't want to do engagement, call up his parents and cancel. I don't want to get married like this, call them up and tell them. I don't want this wedding venue, call them up and inform. Well hello your would be love forever is right there, tell him first. If he can't fix it, no one else can. I mean unless your parents are like super rich and your in laws listen to them. Other than that, every guy's family has been planning this day forever so yeah don't bother your parents with whats going to happen. Let them go with flow. Dont fight too much, it takes away your innocence.
5) Why do you want to spend so much : Oh you don't have to give them car, you don't have to buy jewellery, you don't have to choose this wedding place, you don't have to buy gifts. Darling, you chose to get married to a guy whose parents specifically mentioned all this. Fine, we will change if the guy comes along and says. Other than that, if we have the money, we will do all this. Hopefully wedding ends asap so we can sleep comfortably after months of nothing.The thing is if your guy isn't raising a voice, no parent in his right mind would go and say i am poor i wouldnt do all this. Its their respect at stake. Dont take it out on your parents. They are not over doing it.
6) Dont call relatives : Yeah and be alone when 500 people from guy's side turn up and there's no one to welcome them at door. We need relatives for strength not for your amusement. So that department, that whole side is not for you to even speak of. Be with us, dont oppose everything we say. Its quite hurtful.
7) Dont tell him everything : Lastly, every thing that we talk about, every fight that we have. Please don't discuss it with your boyfriend. I hate it when my sister disrespects my father or makes fun of my mother and says its all cool. I used to do it but then i realised husbands respects their parents way more than wives will ever respect their own. So for the sake of your mum dad give them the love and respect they deserve, Dont tell him what your dad says to mom or how you all fight on petty wedding things. Its a family secret. Yeah he is extended family for us.
All i can say is girls gotta understand their dads need them during wedding time. Help them with money, plans, wedding discussions. Dont shout at them. I know you are stressed too. But don't take it out on people who love you the most unconditionally. Husband's love is kinda conditional u will see.
Ohhh my husband loves me just in case u r concluding he doesn't. Its just that I know how relationships work and dont want you all to make wrong moves. Husbands are the best, but ultimately they also belong to a family like you do. No mater what, they will always protect their mom dad and cousins. You do the same. Dont joke about your parents relatives sibling in front of him, he might pick on it and when he uses it in a argument or joke, it will hurt.
So enjoy your wedding, plan it properly, do shopping from where you live, if you have a disagreement talk to they guy. Dont fight a lot, this is all just going to go away in months. Wedding photos are over rated. Its all good if no one fought and everyone enjoyed it as a team.
1) He is right , you daddy are wrong : Ohh this is a classic thing. I did it, I know we are all in love and we think there is no better couple. But trust me this is just a phase. Every couple is unique. Yes you both a are a team, but this time your parents need you. They want you in their team, not this guy's team. Your dad is already hating the fact how u r putting this guy over him. So no matter what happens, daddy is right unless of course he is trying to exercise honor killing. By the way 80% of guys would let their parents do whatever they want to do in wedding.
2) No work, just advice : Yeah my sister does this and its so ruthless. She is in a far off city doing her job and then she has opinions on every minute thing my dad does. Like for a wedding card design, she texts him like 1000 times to make changes but when she can go to shop and get it fixed in an hour, she won't go. Its like my dad has a new boss who does nothing but cry over stupid things no one notices. Trust me, i havent seen my wedding card in years, people read it for date and throw it away or use it to pick dog's poop. So dont be so melodramatic over not so important things.
3) Everyone join for shopping : Well, first of all decide what you want , u want a lehenga or a saree. You want it made or you want to rent it. Then go for shopping. Its tough for people living in different cities to just come over for your saree shopping which by the way you might keep in a suitcase and put that suitcase in a upstairs loft. So yeah don't give people crappy guilt, its ur day, shop with your own money. Decide your own jewellery. Better look in your city, go window shopping for months and then you will have an accurate idea of what you want. No one knows what you want more than yourself.
4) Do something my poor bf can't : This is what she does, ohh i don't want to do engagement, call up his parents and cancel. I don't want to get married like this, call them up and tell them. I don't want this wedding venue, call them up and inform. Well hello your would be love forever is right there, tell him first. If he can't fix it, no one else can. I mean unless your parents are like super rich and your in laws listen to them. Other than that, every guy's family has been planning this day forever so yeah don't bother your parents with whats going to happen. Let them go with flow. Dont fight too much, it takes away your innocence.
5) Why do you want to spend so much : Oh you don't have to give them car, you don't have to buy jewellery, you don't have to choose this wedding place, you don't have to buy gifts. Darling, you chose to get married to a guy whose parents specifically mentioned all this. Fine, we will change if the guy comes along and says. Other than that, if we have the money, we will do all this. Hopefully wedding ends asap so we can sleep comfortably after months of nothing.The thing is if your guy isn't raising a voice, no parent in his right mind would go and say i am poor i wouldnt do all this. Its their respect at stake. Dont take it out on your parents. They are not over doing it.
6) Dont call relatives : Yeah and be alone when 500 people from guy's side turn up and there's no one to welcome them at door. We need relatives for strength not for your amusement. So that department, that whole side is not for you to even speak of. Be with us, dont oppose everything we say. Its quite hurtful.
7) Dont tell him everything : Lastly, every thing that we talk about, every fight that we have. Please don't discuss it with your boyfriend. I hate it when my sister disrespects my father or makes fun of my mother and says its all cool. I used to do it but then i realised husbands respects their parents way more than wives will ever respect their own. So for the sake of your mum dad give them the love and respect they deserve, Dont tell him what your dad says to mom or how you all fight on petty wedding things. Its a family secret. Yeah he is extended family for us.
All i can say is girls gotta understand their dads need them during wedding time. Help them with money, plans, wedding discussions. Dont shout at them. I know you are stressed too. But don't take it out on people who love you the most unconditionally. Husband's love is kinda conditional u will see.
Ohhh my husband loves me just in case u r concluding he doesn't. Its just that I know how relationships work and dont want you all to make wrong moves. Husbands are the best, but ultimately they also belong to a family like you do. No mater what, they will always protect their mom dad and cousins. You do the same. Dont joke about your parents relatives sibling in front of him, he might pick on it and when he uses it in a argument or joke, it will hurt.
So enjoy your wedding, plan it properly, do shopping from where you live, if you have a disagreement talk to they guy. Dont fight a lot, this is all just going to go away in months. Wedding photos are over rated. Its all good if no one fought and everyone enjoyed it as a team.
