Meditation phase: Too rushed to get there

Honeymoon phase is over in meditation for me now. In beginning, it was like someone showed a door of happiness that felt like nothing I had ever felt. No experience with drugs or alcohol or food compared to this. Just as advertised. It was perfect. I didn't need anything anyone to be happy. All I did was shambhavi twice a day. A lot of wisdom strikes theoretically. It was so pumping we made a lot of changes in diet and lifestyle.

Last time when we went home in may, even though we had been meditating, we didn't come back untouched from all the chaos that surrounded us. It stayed in conversations for months, all the soul corrupting stuff we keep talking about in loops. Shambhavi practice with mooji sadhguru bk shivani are carving my life. This time the change was so so out there, every person I met every situation I was in was purely energy of freedom and joy. I connected with all, met everyone like it was first time, heard them and in turn got so much love.Best thing, saw people in their own drama. Every time we see people, we look at their drama from our drama's perspective. If we just look at them from observer mode, it makes you so much more aware of their life. There is no need to judge or criticise others or yourself. Past is past.  I came back untouched this time. All I did was not do the act of self preservation. Well, vipasanna definitely helped, it calmed me down and gave me so many answers I was looking for. A lot of work has to be done. This is just .000001 %.

One mistake that we have been doing is we are trying to rush this process. In turn, we are losing ease in life, gaining anxiety. Unless I am at ease, there is no way meditation can progress. We left a lot of activities that made us happy, in process we created a negativity towards them which is again wrong. The whole point of living this life is to be relaxed and still focussed. Experiences sensations of consciouness happen for those who are receptive not for people who are restrained. Walking around like a gun to head is the worst. Don't drink, don't eat this, don't talk like this. Working against body, mind can't be good in long run. It took 30 years for this conditioning, how did we expect to be free in 2 years. Lets take it slow. If I could take it faster, definitely I would but right now this is the only sensible thing to do. Stay true to practice. Don't get so attached to your practice, it creates ill feeling for people or situations that come in between. Get that balance. Do meditation, get rid of compulsions. Walk at your own pace, you will arrive. Hehe just don't walk too slow.


Hope god helps me.

Thanks

NAMASTE

Meditation and Frustration: Tips

Are you frustrated? Are you wondering where are those peaceful times gone? And now that you are free of food and other desires, there is nothing that will help you out of this depression. Who would have thought meditation can do this? Technically meditation didn't, its another trick of mind to feel you less so you give up.


There are days when meditation, concentration is wonderful. One of my yoga teachers likes to say quotes in class and I barely listen because quoting a quote is not really my thing. But then one day he said something during my struggling time with body, mind, meditation. He goes, we all have our strong times weak times, days when we feel strong and we get all the praise are the days when we actually bear the fruits of weak times when we struggled a lot. So weak days are the times when we actually put all our strength in our work.


In meditation, the problem is you feel like you had reached a point. All of a sudden you have fallen into this pit all the way back. Its nothing like that at all. You are not your body, you are not your mind. So the act of sitting there for one hour no matter what is the actual one. How your body responds, how your mind interferes is just a reflection of your outer state. The balance is not there perhaps, your dedication discipline is very much there. As soon as this phase is over, your meditation would have improved. Honestly, if you think logically, okk you have a bad day or a series of those, what use is fucking yourself over it. You can not really do anything. The least favor you can do for yourself is to be in your default state, joyful peaceful state. Whatever happens, there is no sad state, straight away go to the default state, happy peace one.

You fall for compulsions, learn your lesson, move fast, happy peaceful again.
You preach too much, don't do next time, move fast, happy peaceful again.
You wasted time in desire, don't do next time,forget learn , happy peaceful again.
You can't be with people its disturbing you, may be stay alone for some time, happy peaceful again.
Your parents are bothering you, tell them what you want don't call for sometime, happy peaceful again.

Whatever happens, happy peaceful again and again.

Are we running from problems here by ignoring people? Should we face them right then and there and be over it? I tried a lot, our parents have been after us for having kids giving different kinds of social sentimental even karmic reasons. Why not talk it out right? Problem is when you are tying to find your footing in spiritual path, lost is the only way out. When discussions happen, you will always feel defeated, you don't know enough to say why you are doing what you are doing and they have a thousand things to say, they won't take no for an answer. Only way out is to request to not talk about it. Save yourself from agitation, frustration of this constant fight with the world. Accept people as they are. Who says you change, just let them be. Right in this moment, you work on yourself. Don't resist so much, flow with the world. Don't say much. Blend in where you can. If not, its okk. Everyone has their own journey. Don't take it too seriously.

Can I take advice from a meditator? I tried that too, see that also doesn't work unless you are really close to the person. So don't try it with someone you barely know. Only a knowledgeable wise person can give advice with no strings attached. A relative might add his intention or favor from your parents or society unconsciously. If nothing, their life could be totally different from yours. You are not alone, just meditate regularly for some years patiently, all answers are inside. When you are vulnerable, your wounds just need some air, no other thing helps. Let them dry up smoothly.

Meditation is a super long process. Years of practice gives guru to set you on right path. Be patient. Doing not doing exist in the same realm. Impatience intolerance is also a distraction. Try bhajans, chanting when nothing works. Calm yourself, think why are you angry, what is the solution, sort it out, be the champion. Within 15 minutes, you will smile.

Smile smile smile for you are finally on the right path. Its a bliss in itself. What if you were running around chasing in this life too.  Be grateful to cosmos, is this not enough to keep yourself in a high spirit? Think about it, count your blessings yogis.

This is all part of my experience and coping mechanism. Hope this helps someone out there.

NAMASTE